I have a job interview today. I am VERY NERVOUS. As those of you who know me are aware (and those of you who don’t can probably guess, since, as the saying goes, [deity of choice] doesn’t give with both hands) I am CONSIDERABLY BETTER at writing than I am at speaking. MAKING SOUNDS is a messy and imprecise art that doesn’t give me time to properly ARRANGE MY THOUGHTS. They come out all willy-nilly and without proper structure, horrifying my internal editor.
It is my fondest desire that one day, when we all work remotely and making noises with your throat to communicate with your colleagues has become a quaint joke to share among friends — in much the same way as calling anyone who isn’t your mother on the phone is now — interviews can be conducted as a series of ESSAY QUESTIONS. Preferably (and I know this may not have a lot of popular support, but bear with me) UNDER EXAM CONDITIONS.
I WOULD BE SO GOOD AT THAT, YOU GUYS. I WOULD GET ALL THE JOBS.
As it is, I hope very much I do not tank. History suggests it’s even odds.