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100×10: Limits

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Words.

Someone I love is in hospital for mental health reasons. They’re not the first person, and this isn’t the first time.

It’s not okay. I’m not okay with it.

I  tweeted something stupid around 4am one morning last week (cheers, insomnia!) and this particular person saw it and called me. I couldn’t even comprehend the idea of making conversation in my state of sleepless delirium (although I did manage to make and eat macaroni while watching infomercials sometime around 5am) so I didn’t answer my phone.

I assumed they were calling to say “hey, I’m awake too. Wanna chat?”. I think they were actually calling to say “help me”.

The world we live in seems to expect that when something has to give, you give up yourself — your sleep, your health, your free time. Those aren’t treats, things you can live without if you have to. Those are the things that keep you well and functioning and, yes, sane. I’ve seen more than one person push themselves so far they broke, and I’ve learned the hard way that the human mind is A FUCKING FRAGILE THING.

Your job is never, ever worth your health, your mind or your life. Neither are your shitty exes or your nasty relatives or anybody who doesn’t love you wholly and unconditionally. If something has to give, it doesn’t have to be you. It shouldn’t be you. Don’t let it be you.

The other day that same person told me to treat myself like I treat my friends. This has gone around and around in my head since, because I don’t. I’d never speak to a friend like I speak to myself. I’d never ask of a friend what I expect of myself.

So, that’s all I have to say today: treat yourself like someone you love. Be kind. Be gentle. Listen to your limits.

LOOK AFTER YOURSELVES.

And answer your phone when your friends call.

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Writer of things. Annoyer of cats.

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